Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

You say β€œmultitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has viewed:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1732 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,894

Funny Quotes Topics

14,714

Funny Quotes Images

11,894

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on YouTube:

β€œFollow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like β€œabandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have never seen a single β€œwhen animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Trending via Messenger:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Reported on Slack:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Reported on Telegram:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Reported on Telegram:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Just shared via Reddit:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
πŸŽΈπŸ•Ί "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! πŸŽΆπŸ˜‚ #VintageVibes"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🀝

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1732 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,894

Funny Quotes Topics

14,714

Funny Quotes Images

11,894

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has viewed:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Reported on Pinterest:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Going viral on YouTube:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Just landed via Slack:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are β€œthrilled” on LinkedIn.

Live now on Threads:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Share Wordgag πŸ™

Β© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄