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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Shared recently on X:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Spotted on Telegram:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Making waves on Messenger:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Just shared via Telegram:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Going bananas on Threads:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

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When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”
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Commentary:
🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

82 shares on YouTube this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Just shared via X:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Trending via Telegram:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Making waves on Reddit:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

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