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Commentary:
"Who needs a weighted blanket when you've got the weight of the world? 💪🌎 Maybe a nice cup of tea and a nap on a cloud could help lighten that load! ☁️😄"

blanket, humor, irony, needs, pressure, relaxation, stress, weight, weighted, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

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2 months ago

assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words
Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

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2 months ago

full, full of shit, humor, oh, own, own page, page, person, realization, shit, surprise
“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

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2 months ago

after, before, both, definition, humor, language, means, post, pre, preposterous, pun, same, time, wordplay
Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

0

2 months ago

being, castle, every, goldfish, humor, life, live, perspective, simplicity, six, surprise
Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

0

2 months ago

came, humor, joke, language, receipt, spelling, typo, wordplay
The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

0

2 months ago

actually, conspiracy, faked, humor, i, landing, Mars, moon, moon landing, proof, prove, space

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

38 shares on Threads this month:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

20 shares on X this month:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Going viral on Reddit:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Trending via Discord:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending via Facebook:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Spotted on Twitch:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨