Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a weighted blanket when you've got the weight of the world? 💪🌎 Maybe a nice cup of tea and a nap on a cloud could help lighten that load! ☁️😄"

blanket, humor, irony, needs, pressure, relaxation, stress, weight, weighted, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

0

2 months ago

age, around, candy, childhood, cigarettes, humor, innocence, memory, nostalgia, smokers, thing, used
How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, air, exist, food, fry, humor, hunger, irony, satire, world, world hunger
Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

1

2 days ago

cause, even, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, girl, history, humor, i, joke, main, name, saw, t-shirt, three, war, world, World War I
Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

0

2 months ago

authority, boss, care, gardening, houseplant, humor, joke, plant, plant care, waterboard, waterboarding
I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

0

2 months ago

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair
Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

0

2 months ago

always, argue, different, humor, people, self, story, talk, tell, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Spotted on Messenger:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Just shared via Threads:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Spotted on TikTok:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Trending via Reddit:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Making waves on Threads:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨