Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Making waves on Discord:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Shared recently on Reddit:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Live now on Telegram:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Just shared via Discord:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine training for the Olympics of procrastination 😂🚗⏳🏆

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

0

2 months ago

airport, airport security, drug, drugs, example, humor, i, joke, people, sarcasm, security, take
New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

0

4 weeks ago

awesome, confidence, humor, joke, just, kidding, me, motivation, new, new me, new year, self-esteem, year
I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

0

2 months ago

girl, humor, i, love, relationship, single, surprise, today, wake, wake up
I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

0

2 months ago

comfort, decision, fashion, humor, i, irony, life, living, norms, pajamas, people, public, social, social norms
Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

0

2 months ago

baby, crazy, home, humor, know, parenting, pregnancy, someone, surprise, teeth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

76 shares on Discord this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

39 shares on Facebook this month:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Just landed via X:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Going viral on TikTok:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Making waves on Slack:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨