Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Trending via Twitch:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on Threads:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Just landed via WeChat:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Live now on WeChat:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You're the human embodiment of my autocorrect rejecting a word! 😂🙅‍♂️#NopeVibes

humor, nope, person, personality, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

0

2 months ago

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake
A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

0

2 months ago

app, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, dating, dating app, funny idea, humor, idea, interests, match, matchmaker, online, online dating, people, relationship, theory
I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

0

2 months ago

award, candy, comedy, confession, dentist, deserve, eat, honesty, humor, i, lie, Oscar, telling
If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

0

2 months ago

growth, humor, i, mind, mistake, reflection, today, wisdom, yesterday
Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

0

2 months ago

accidentally, Amazon, buy, ever, impulse, impulse buy, money, online, online shopping, order, shopping, stress
The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, cheeky, humor, joke, nerf, nerve, nerve sensitivity, sensitivity, sex, sex joke, sexuality, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on X this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

73 shares on Threads this month:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Just landed via Twitch:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Going bananas on Telegram:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Breaking via Instagram:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Just shared via Twitch:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Trending via Facebook:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Just landed via Messenger:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨