Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Spotted on Messenger:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Just landed via Slack:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Just landed via WeChat:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Freshly posted on X:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Just shared via Facebook:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Spotted on YouTube:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This guy on Oxy got the brain cells on vacation mode 🧠🛌😂

drug, humor, me, moron, oxy, surprise, telling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

0

2 months ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

0

2 months ago

humor, moment, motivation, perfect, perfect moment, procrastination, self-improvement, stop, timing, waiting
My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

0

2 months ago

appearance, camera, failure, humor, me, project, science, selfie
My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, funny situation, having, i, me, misunderstanding, morning, neighbor, sex, sh, situation
Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

0

5 months ago

accomplishment, anything, babe, communication, conversation, everything, humor, life, motivation, ok, partner, relationship, sarcasm
That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

0

3 months ago

distraction, focus, forgetfulness, forgot, funny moment, humor, moment, reading, realization, realize, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

49 shares on X this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

62 shares on Threads this month:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Going viral on Twitch:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Trending via Facebook:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Making waves on Instagram:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨