Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

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Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

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I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

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If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

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A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.