Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Trending via Instagram:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Just shared via Twitch:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Shared recently on Slack:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Italy: where the gelato is cold and your ambitions to work are even colder! 🍦💸🙃

desire, humor, Italy, money, month, motivation, travel, vacation, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

5 months ago

40, activity, age, answer, asking, fun, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, over, over 40, people, stop
Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

2 months ago

ask, communication, dinner, free, household, humor, lawn, lawn mower, marriage, mower, mowing, multitasking, ready, relationship, tip, while, wife
I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

2 months ago

determination, encouragement, exercise, fitness, hell, humor, hurts, i, just, know, motivation, push-up, think, workout
The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

2 months ago

$250K, alone, comedy, home, home alone, house, just, Kevin, know, movie, nostalgia, parents, re-watching, worst
Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

2 months ago

chaos, comparison, floor, humor, kind, observation, oh, parenting, politician, politicians, shout, sometimes, stuff, throw, toddler
Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

2 months ago

else, entertainment, here, humor, Kardashian, never, reality, reality TV, say, show, shows, statement, TV, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

26 shares on X this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

25 shares on Threads this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Breaking via Reddit:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Making waves on Instagram:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just landed via Telegram:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Live now on WhatsApp:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Going bananas on Slack:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨