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Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

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Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Trending via Twitch:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Going viral on Twitch:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Breaking via TikTok:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about vacation's impact on work ethic and money desire.

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Commentary:
Italy: where the gelato is cold and your ambitions to work are even colder! 🍦💸🙃

desire, humor, Italy, money, month, motivation, travel, vacation, work

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86 shares on YouTube this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Breaking via Instagram:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Spotted on YouTube:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Broadcasted on X:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Going viral on Threads:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Trending via Messenger:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

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Activity Log ✨

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨