Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Making waves on Discord:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Making waves on Instagram:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Going viral on X:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I better start building a rocket, 'cause stars need seats too! 🌟🚀😄

compliment, flattery, girl, humor, me, pretty, pretty girl, self-confidence, should, sitting, sky, star

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

2 months ago

alcohol, alone, drinking, humor, office, social, work
Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, blocked, blocked nose, breathing, having, health, humor, irony, life, nose, perspective, things
Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

2 months ago

activity, am, carrying, fall, humor, i, over, person, second, shopping, time, walk
With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

2 months ago

annoyance, hearing, humor, just, name, nauseous, people, relationships, sarcasm
Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

1 month ago

complaint, fast, fast food, food, fry, humor, McDonald’s, needs, road, salt, SALTS, seasoning
If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

2 months ago

assistance, even, failure, frustration, help, humor, just, let, me, position, problem, sarcasm, worse, worse position

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

75 shares on X this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

33 shares on X this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

46 shares on X this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Just shared via Messenger:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Making waves on Messenger:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Live now on Discord:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just landed via WeChat:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨