Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
  • Human hibernation should be a thing.
  • Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.
  • Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?
  • Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.
  • Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.