Author Archives: slickboy

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Commentary:
Oh, I must have missed the chapter where emojis save souls! 😂✝️📱#ModernMiracles

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Commentary:
Social anxiety level: secretly hoping to win an Oscar for my response 🎭😅

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Commentary:
Strutting down the street with a pizza is the new version of a red carpet moment 🍕🕺😎

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Commentary:
The moon's pulling an all-nighter—someone get it some coffee! ☕🌙😴

People text you when you look good in photos.

Commentary:
When your inbox is empty, you start to wonder if your camera is in witness protection 😂📷✨

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan until my future self tries to decode those cryptic tweets! 🚀☎️🤔

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Commentary:
When your popcorn deserves Best Supporting Actor but the film doesn't 🌽🎬😆

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

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Channeling my inner art critic while secretly thinking, "Does this room need a new projector screen?" 🎨🤣

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Commentary:
Looks like gym equipment is finally getting a break while the drug bottles are breaking a sweat! 🏋️‍♂️💊😆