Commentary:
Smash it like it's a piñata filled with bad ideas! 🎉💥
Author Archives: slickboy
A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.
Commentary:
Flat stomachs are cool, but have you tried accessorizing with pizza? 🍕😄
Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.
Commentary:
Arriving fashionably late… I mean, what's the point of being on time if there’s no iced coffee to savor? ☕😎✨
They should invent a day where I feel normal.
Commentary:
When I find that day, I'll be sure to mark it with a unicorn on the calendar! 🦄📅
Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.
Commentary:
Sure! Here you go:
"Babe, I'm just exploring the scenic route of life. 🐢🚶♂️😂"
Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.
Commentary:
When I say I'm "hanging out with friends," I mean my collection of mismatched socks. 😜🧦🤪
“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.
Commentary:
When life gives you nothing, just super-size it! 🍔😂
Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the parental break alarm just went off—time to cancel relaxation mode! 🚨🤣🍼
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.
Commentary:
Running at Monday like it's a horror movie villain… plot twist: it trips as we scream and scatter! 🏃💨😱🍿
Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.
Commentary:
Bat signal: Go, my flying minions! Release your inner Batman, but keep it spooky! 🦇🏰😂