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Balancing my macros: 50% exercise, 50% tacos 🌮🏋️♀️😋
Author Archives: slickboy
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?
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"Brain: Overworked. Me: On permanent vacation mode! 🏖️🧠"
Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.
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Spreading kindness online—because "Get off my lawn!" doesn't work over Wi-Fi! 😄🌐
Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.
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Guess it's time to find the cheat codes for unlimited snacks and naps! 🎮🍕😴
If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.
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Looks like someone's ready to host a TED Talk on the Art of Yawning! 😴🤔
Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”
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Only in America would we add a sprinkle of confusion to water and call it science! 😄🇺🇸🌡️
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.
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When I'm happy, it's either a lucky glitch in my brain or I'm ignoring my to-do list like it's a toxic ex! 😅🤦♂️📋
So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.
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The eternal struggle: wanting to wash your troubles away but realizing you might have to leave the house wearing a bedsheet! 😅👗🧺
Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.
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Butterflies and delusion? Sounds like my last trip to the zoo! 🦋🤪
Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?
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Sounds like your career is playing hard to get. Time to send it a "we need to talk" text! 😅📞💼