Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Trending via Discord:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Just landed via X:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Just shared via WeChat:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Breaking via Slack:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Spotted on Reddit:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Love having solo parties; the guest list is always perfect! 🎉😄🛋️

activity, alone, being, being alone, favorite, favorite activity, favourite, introvert, personal, personal space, self, self time, solitude, space, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

0

2 months ago

around, communication, emails, humor, me, mess, procrastination, reply, response, sarcasm, work, workplace
I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

0

2 months ago

argument, back, backing, disagreement, humor, i, meme, realization, support
Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

0

2 months ago

being, community, country, high, high school, humor, job, mayor, politics, population, president, school, small, small town, town, where, whole, wild, wild job
There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

0

2 months ago

boat, camouflage, duck, duck hunter, humor, hunter, hunting, i, money, outsmart, respect, spent
Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, fingerprints, humor, mirror, reflection, self-awareness, wall
You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

0

2 months ago

advice, change, food, humor, life, life advice, past, pasta, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Twitch this month:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

69 shares on Slack this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

55 shares on X this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Going bananas on Discord:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Live now on WeChat:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Going viral on Slack:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Spotted on Instagram:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Trending via TikTok:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Breaking via Threads:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨