Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I am half agony, half hope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Seen just now on Threads:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Trending via Slack:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Spreading quickly via X:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Bob Ross had his happy little trees figured out faster than I can find my own zen forest! 🌳🖌️🤔

Bob, Bob Ross, forest, humor, minutes, myself, paint, ross, self, self-improvement, still, unfinished, work, work on self, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, child, favorite, favorite moment, humor, moment, parenting, sleep
Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, funny injury, humor, injury, overwhelming, pain, self-deprecation, sensuality
My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

0

2 months ago

appliance, fridge, happiness, humor, life, light, most, people, relationship
Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

0

2 months ago

after, bartender, comedy, conversation, drink, frustration, half, hour, humor, listening, me, over, problems, robot, technology
It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

0

2 months ago

ease, humor, ignorance, irony, problem, simplicity, solution, suggestion
I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

0

3 months ago

bet, communication, email, feeling, finds, humor, i, inner, inner feeling, inside, screaming, silence, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

45 shares on X this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

63 shares on X this month:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Making waves on Threads:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Seen just now on X:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Seen just now on Threads:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Just shared via X:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Just landed via Messenger:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Going viral on Messenger:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨