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Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Just landed via TikTok:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Spotted on X:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Just shared via X:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Spotted on X:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Making waves on Reddit:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Shared recently on Threads:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about a cookbook with messy dish photos, highlighting humorous kitchen chaos.

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Commentary:
Finally, a cookbook that tells the *whole* truth… and the truth is, I'm ordering pizza! 🍕🧽🙈

after, chore, cleaned, cleaning, cookbook, cooking, dish, dishes, humor, kitchen, making, need, photo, recipe

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76 shares on X this month:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

60 shares on Threads this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I love unplanned fun.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Going viral on Instagram:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Freshly posted on X:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Trending via Instagram:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Broadcasted on Slack:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Spotted on Slack:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just shared via Messenger:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

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Activity Log ✨

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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