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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Live now on Pinterest:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Making waves on Slack:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Live now on Twitch:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Going viral on Facebook:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Going viral on Facebook:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Spotted on Telegram:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

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Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.
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Commentary:
Ah, modern dating – where we play a game of 'spot the red flag' and hope for the best 🚩🤔 It's like choosing between a bouquet of red flags, hoping for a rose amongst the thorns! 🌹😂 Remember, sometimes the red flags are just waving at you, not warning you! 🚩🚩🚩 #DatingDilemmas

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

71 shares on Discord this month:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

34 shares on X this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Trending via Slack:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Going viral on X:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Trending via Snapchat:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Just shared via Messenger:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

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