Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

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I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

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Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

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This book ain’t got no pictures.

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The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

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My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

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I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

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100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

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There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

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Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

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I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.