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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Just landed via X:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Going bananas on Slack:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Spotted on Twitch:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Spotted on TikTok:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Spotted on Telegram:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just landed via Discord:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Shared recently on Discord:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Tick-tock, gentlemen! Better bring your 'A' game before the clock strikes "Sorry, time's up!" 🕰️😆✨

biological, biological clock, clock, dating, deadline, final, humor, men, pressure, prove, relationship, weakness, worthiness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

0

2 months ago

always, belief, fantasy, humor, individuality, magic, quirky, weirdo
I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

0

2 months ago

humor, inactivist, irony, lazy, motivation, procrastination
Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

0

2 months ago

call, family, grandma, humor, perception, scandalous, sundry, underwear
An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

0

2 months ago

adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills
Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

0

3 months ago

bored, boredom, conversation, daily, daily recommendation, drinking, girl, humor, hydration, joke, recommendation, start, water
Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

0

6 months ago

beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

34 shares on X this month:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Live now on Telegram:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Just landed via TikTok:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Shared recently on X:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨