Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Making waves on Telegram:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Just shared via Instagram:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Does your blood pump that way just for me?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Of course! My heart's a DJ, and it's playing your theme song! 🎶❤️😂"

, , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Breaking via WeChat:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via Telegram:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Making waves on Telegram:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴