Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Just shared via Facebook:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Making waves on WeChat:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Threads:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Making waves on Facebook:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When did evenings get put on fast forward? I'm still trying to find the remote! 🍕📺😴

after, evening, finish, meal, morning, night, relaxation, routine, show, sleep, time, tomorrow, too, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sane is boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane
Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

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2 months ago

adulting, call, communication, even, humor, making, motivation, phone, phone call, procrastination, responsibility, want
Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

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2 months ago

burger, comfort, craving, held, hold, humor, i, just, life, stupid, want
Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, fade, forever, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate humor, looks, twisted, twisted humor
Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

0

2 months ago

better, comedy, depressed, duo, emotions, humor, irony, name, relationship, sad
“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

0

2 months ago

always, back, back pain, chair, humor, hurt, i, irony, never, pain, posture, say, self-awareness, sitting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

38 shares on X this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Going bananas on Slack:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Trending via Telegram:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Just landed via Discord:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sane is boring.

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨