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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

16 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about childhood dreams of living in a distant galaxy, playful and humorous.

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Commentary:
Beam me up! My neighbors are still Earthlings 😂🚀✨

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

4 days ago

am, existence, humor, i, philosophy, self-reflection, think
Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

5 days ago

astrology, blame, blaming, decision, full, humor, i, moon, night, tonight, unhinged, whatever
“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

2 weeks ago

challenge, choice, difficult, difficult life, easy, easy life, humor, i, just, life, life philosophy, philosophy, should, simplicity, want
Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

1 day ago

cuddle, dating, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, little, masculinity, men, relationship, roles, spoon, used, want, war
Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

2 weeks ago

careful, follow, humor, irony, masses, silent
That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

3 days ago

caffeine, coffee, coffee maker, daily, every, happiness, happy, joy, little, maker, me, morning, morning ritual, ritual, routine, small, small joy, walk

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

54 shares on Slack this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Trending via WhatsApp:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Just landed via Facebook:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨