Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Just landed via Facebook:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Just landed via TikTok:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Making waves on Threads:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Just landed via WeChat:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Beam me up! My neighbors are still Earthlings 😂🚀✨

always, away, childhood, dream, ever, far, far away, galaxy, humor, i, kid, live, sci-fi, space, wanted, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

1 month ago

another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should
You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

2 months ago

activity, adventure, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, lighthearted, mugshots, sound, spontaneity, unhinged
Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

2 months ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname
Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

2 months ago

ad, ads, campaign, election, humor, money, more ads, political, political ad, satire, send, us
I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

2 months ago

bag, choose, drunken, drunken panda, fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift bag, gift giving, giving, humor, i, just, laziness, motor, Panda, skills, wrapping
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

2 months ago

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

85 shares on X this month:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

98 shares on Facebook this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Just shared via Messenger:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Just shared via Reddit:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Just shared via Messenger:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Spotted on Twitch:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Just landed via YouTube:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Live now on Reddit:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨