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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

50 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Trending via TikTok:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Just landed via Messenger:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just shared via WeChat:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on Discord:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Home » Funny Affection Quotes » Page 4

36 Funny affection quotes

More funny affection quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is feeling unloved compared to their cat! 😽 Who wouldn't appreciate a face full of kisses and smooshes? Maybe the cat just needs some lessons in affection etiquette. 🐱💋 #catantics"
6 months ago
Share →: Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Commentary:
"Who knew geometry could be so romantic? 💞 When it comes to triangles, love is always acute angle! 😂💖"
6 months ago
Share →: Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Commentary:
"Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. 🌻 Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone. 📱 Well, at least we know our love is charged up and blooming brightly! 💖"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Commentary:
"Looks like the digital age has revolutionized romance! 💌💻 Who needs a card when you've got endless texts, emojis, and GIFs to express your affection, right? Happy paperless anniversary, lovebirds! 🥂💕"
6 months ago
Share →: I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day love story – forget the moon and stars, it's all about the fridge now! 🌌❤️🍔 Whoever said romance is dead clearly never experienced the joy of late-night snacks and midnight fridge raids together. 😂🍴 #RelationshipGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the pure joy of toddler fashion exploration! 👖😄 Who needs wardrobe malfunctions when you have an enthusiastic fashion critic at home? 😂 #ParentingAdventures"

For even more funny affection quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny affection quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

50 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Spotted on Threads:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Spotted on Discord:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Seen just now on Threads:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Spotted on Messenger:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Just shared via Slack:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Seen just now on X:

I hope this email kills us both.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Just shared via Instagram:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

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