Commentary:
"Parenting: Where mealtime is a constant game of roulette 🍔🍕 Will you get a food vacuum or a time-traveling lunch skipper? Stay tuned to find out! 😂"
79 Funny asked quotes
I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁♂️💕
Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.
Commentary:
"Big shoutout to all my fellow poker-faced pals out there! 🃏♠️ Who needs a range of facial expressions when you've got 'resting chill face' mastered? 😎 Keep calm and carry on, you mysterious beings. 🤔😄 #FacialExpressionGameStrong"
I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
Commentary:
Well, looks like my boss gave me a raise—turns out for comedy! 😂🤷♂️
Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.
Commentary:
"Sure, but you'll only find memes and cat pics in stock today! 📱😂🐱"
At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”
Commentary:
Guess she should have specified *which* airline! ✈️🤣
I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like the career equivalent of dropping the mic and strutting out of life's talent show! 😂🎤🕺
Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’
Commentary:
Books: guaranteed shelf-improvement! 📚😄
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”
Commentary:
Germany: where the periodic table and math equations feel at home because everyone gets an invite 📚🔬🇩🇪