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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,883

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Trending via TikTok:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Just landed via Facebook:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Trending via X:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Trending via Discord:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

172 Funny Christmas quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

89 shares on Threads this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

15 shares on YouTube this month:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Live now on Pinterest:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Spotted on Discord:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Making waves on Messenger:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just shared via Threads:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Just shared via Discord:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

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