Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Going bananas on Discord:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Freshly posted on X:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Going viral on YouTube:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Funny daddy quotes

Funny daddy quotes bring all the dad jokes, silly wisdom, and playful charm together in one hilarious package 😄👨‍👧‍👦 Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love a good laugh, these gems capture the quirky, lovable side of fatherhood 😂💬 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even roll your eyes — because dads always know how to keep things entertaining! 🎉👔 #DadLife #FunnyDaddyQuotes

New funny daddy quotes 👇

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

10 hours ago

asking, daddy, dating, friend, humor, joke, relationship, sugar, sugar daddy, where
Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

2 days ago

daddy, dating, finance, humor, looking, money, online, online dating, pal, pay, pay pal, relationship, something, sugar, sugar daddy
What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

1 week ago

busy, daddy, distraction, emails, humor, i, just, kitten, procrastination, work
I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

1 week ago

asking, calling, daddy, humor, mall, money, relationship, shopping
Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

2 weeks ago

back, being, daddy, guys, humor, love, positive, pregnancy, relationship, responsibility, surprise, test
A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

2 weeks ago

daddy, gender-neutral, glucose, guardian, humor, joke, relationship, sugar, wordplay
Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

3 months ago

crypto, daddy, dilemma, dumb, finance, going, good, honesty, honesty dilemma, humor, influencer, me, media, people, personal, personal struggle, scam, shy, shyness, social, social media, struggle, sugar, sugar daddy, too, work
If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

3 months ago

bed, bedroom, boundary, call, clean, clean room, daddy, doing, funny response, humor, i, me, partner, partner teasing, playful, relationship, response, room, stop, teasing
Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

3 months ago

back, daddy, every, guy, humor, parenthood, positive, relationship, responsibility, test, wants

All funny daddy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Trending via Instagram:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Going viral on TikTok:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Making waves on Telegram:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Just shared via Twitch:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴