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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Going viral on Slack:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Making waves on Messenger:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Trending via Messenger:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Going viral on Twitch:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

1 week ago

commitment, dating, end, falling, hangout, humor, i, love, me, relationship, time
If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

1 week ago

dating, gulp, health, humor, i, just, looking, playful, spontaneity, vitamins, wild, wild woman, woman
Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

1 week ago

bradshaw, carrie, Carrie Bradshaw, crush, culture, dating, feel, feelings, having, humor, love, most, pop, pop culture, real, relationship
Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

1 week ago

breakup, commitment, dating, ex girlfriend, forever, girlfriend, humor, love, relationship, temporary
Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

1 week ago

conversation, dating, easier, fun, humor, me, relationship, single, still, think
I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

1 week ago

awkward, comedy, conversation, dating, flirting, humor, i, relationships, skills, social, social skills, suck
Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

1 week ago

being, boyfriend, boyfriendable, dating, expectations, fun, humor, love, relationship, stop
The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

1 week ago

bullshit, dating, devil, humor, life, love, me, reach, relationship, struggle, sure
Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

1 week ago

dating, expectations, falling, finding, humor, imagine, irony, love, me, relationship, slow, slow walker, walker
Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

1 week ago

daddy, dating, finance, humor, looking, money, online, online dating, pal, pay, pay pal, relationship, something, sugar, sugar daddy

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Instagram this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

27 shares on X this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

68 shares on X this month:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

77 shares on X this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Seen just now on X:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Just shared via Instagram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Live now on Telegram:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨