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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

33 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Making waves on WeChat:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Spotted on Twitch:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Spotted on Threads:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Live now on Facebook:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Trending via WeChat:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Going viral on Telegram:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Freshly posted on Threads:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Trending via YouTube:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Home » Funny Decide Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny decide quotes

More funny decide quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Commentary:
"Who needs words when you have a strategic wardrobe choice? 😏💅 No apologies here, just a strong fashion statement. 😂🔥 #SleepingInStyle"

For even more funny decide quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

33 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Your opinions are not my business.

Making waves on X:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Reported on Telegram:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Live now on Telegram:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Reported on YouTube:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Going viral on Threads:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

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