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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Just landed via X:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Trending via WeChat:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Trending via WeChat:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Going viral on Instagram:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Trending via Reddit:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Shared recently on X:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Trending via Snapchat:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

14 Funny deodorant quotes

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New funny deodorant quotes 👇

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All funny deodorant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

49 shares on X this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

34 shares on X this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

My love language is deader than Latin.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Simplicity is so complicated.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is mental suicide.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Shared recently on Discord:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Spotted on Threads:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Making waves on Threads:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Freshly posted on X:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

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