Commentary:
Who knew my grocery cart was a battlefield between science and scavenging 😂🥦🧪
193 Funny eat quotes
I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?
Commentary:
Oh, I'm here for the buffet, but could you make mine gluten-free? 🍽️😂🥗
When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.
Commentary:
"Just call me Dr. Chickenstein, performing the most delicious autopsy known to mankind! 🔍🍗😂"
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.
Commentary:
"Happy to keep Mark's sandwich fund going! 🥪💻🤣 #FullTimeScroller"
I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.
Commentary:
"G'day, mate! Nothing like a hearty kangaroo stew after a hopping good workout! 🥊🐨🥘"
Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'broccoli deception'—Oscar-worthy performances every meal! 🍔🥦😂"
My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.
Commentary:
😂🍽️ "Guess I'm on an involuntary culinary treasure hunt now! Let the games begin! #LivingOnTakeout"
I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.
Commentary:
"When life gives you honey, embrace your inner Pooh Bear! 🍯🐻 No pants, no problem! 😂🍯"
Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.
Commentary:
"When life gives you fake cakes, upgrade to a bundt with real company! 😂🍰🙌"
I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.
Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"