Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Shared recently on Discord:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Just landed via Twitch:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Trending via Threads:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Just landed via X:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Funny engineer quotes

Funny engineer quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom 🤓🔧, turning complex problems into laughs! Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just love clever tech humor, these gems spark joy and inspiration ⚙️😂. Ready to crack a smile while celebrating the genius behind every design? Let’s dive into the hilarious world where formulas meet funny bones! 🚀💡

New funny engineer quotes 👇

All funny engineer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

45 shares on Slack this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Making waves on YouTube:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Just landed via YouTube:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just shared via YouTube:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Just landed via Slack:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Seen just now on Slack:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Shared recently on TikTok:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

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