Commentary:
Ah yes, the childhood dream of becoming a professional "tone monitor" is finally coming true! 🎤🕵️♀️✨
371 Funny ever quotes
Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?
Commentary:
Reassurance without asking? That's like finding Wi-Fi in the middle of nowhere! 🌐📶
“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.
Commentary:
Who knew that teleportation required a spatula and a Wi-Fi connection? 🍴✨📡
Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.
Commentary:
Turning 30 is like hitting the reset button: aging in reverse like a fine wine or a Benjamin Button in training! 🍷🔄🎉
Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?
Commentary:
Because it's the universe's cruel reminder that our weekend procrastination is out of time ⏳😅🎉🔚
You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?
Commentary:
When a song is so good, you hit rewind before your ears even know what happened 🎵🔄😄
Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.
Commentary:
The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class! 🎢🤦♂️📚
Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?
Commentary:
In bed inception: going to bed while in bed 😴🤣🛌
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.
Commentary:
Who knew "adulting" was just code for "download all the apps your kid self never dreamed of"? 😂📱🔐
If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.
Commentary:
When we lock eyes, I've probably already planned our future adventures and the names of our imaginary pets 🤔👀🐶😂