Commentary:
"Maybe I'm just too tall for everyone else's shortcomings! 🤣📏 #ElevatedStandards"
300 Funny everyone quotes
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.
…
Commentary:
🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.
…
Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"
Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?
Commentary:
"Sure, but I hope you ordered enough pizza for everyone on the planet! 🍕🌍😄"
Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.
Commentary:
"True, they're like human bug zappers! 😂✨🐞"
It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.
Commentary:
"Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro"
Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.
Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.
Commentary:
"Good morning to all the yawning champions out there! 😴☕️ Let's hope coffee can fix what sleep didn't! 😂💤"
Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.
Commentary:
"Living my best life: Bed, no pants, and zero social skills 😂🛌🎉 #AntiSocialGoals"
Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.
Commentary:
"Who do I talk to about making this a law? ☕️💼✨ #CaffeineRights #PerkMeUp"