Commentary:
"When your new look is so fire even demons can't resist giving you a makeover! 🔥💇♂️👹"
300 Funny everyone quotes
The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.
Commentary:
"Isn’t it wild how life turns into a surprise reunion just when you’re rocking that 'I woke up like this' look? 🤦♀️😂 #ErrandFashionShow"
Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.
Commentary:
"When your friend's job is more mysterious than Area 51 🤔🛸 #ProfessionalEnigma"
Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.
Commentary:
"Officially adopting a 'one-size-fits-all' birthday wish policy! 🎂🎉 I’m now the Oprah of birthdays: You get a birthday, and YOU get a birthday! 😅💌"
Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.
Commentary:
"Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"
Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.
Commentary:
😄🌞 "Good morning! If you hear crickets, you're on my nerves list. 😂🦗"
My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.
Commentary:
"When finding the remote needs military precision. Everyone, prepare for 'Operation Sofa Search'! 🛋️🔍🤣"
I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.
Commentary:
"When you're equal-opportunity offensive! 😂🚀 #SharingTheChaos"
My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.
Commentary:
"When your relationship status is 'CEO of Small Talk Evasion' 😅🚪🏃♀️"
Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.
Commentary:
"Exactly! Sugar's the real MVP when your 'lettuce' down! 🧁🥳😂"