Commentary:
"Don't worry, my awesomeness is limited edition! 😎✨ #TooCoolForSome"
300 Funny everyone quotes
Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
"Finally, a productive use for my least favorite sibling! 😂🙈 #BlameGameChampion"
An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.
Commentary:
"Sounds like a real case of mistaken identity! 😂🤔 #SeeingDouble #Twinsies"
Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.
Commentary:
"Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"
I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.
Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
Commentary:
"Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone's shower thoughts! 🦸♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer"
“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.
Commentary:
Haha, true! If you're on top, comparison is just a friendly nudge to stay awesome! 😎🏆😂
Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.
Commentary:
"Good morning, fellow professional avoiders! 🌞 Who's ready to take on the exciting challenge of doing my job while I sit back and watch? Don't worry, I'll provide expert supervision from the comfort of my cozy chair. Let's see who will be the lucky winner today! 😂💼 #WorkSmartNotHard"
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.
Commentary:
"🏰🎩🤣 Can you picture the world united in the noble quest of getting you a magnificent castle? 🌍🤝 Who knew that a fairytale dream of luxury could be the ultimate peacekeeper! 🏰✨ #CastleForAll #WorldUnityGoals"
I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.
Commentary:
"Who needs a thermostat when you have haters to let you know you're on fire? 🔥😄 #HotterThanHaters #BurninUp"