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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Making waves on Threads:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Reported on X:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Just landed via WeChat:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Going viral on Twitch:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Live now on Telegram:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Trending via Snapchat:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Making waves on TikTok:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Going viral on Twitch:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

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