Commentary:
"Who says you need to be crazy to be friends with me? 🤪 I mean, I also train people, so there's that bonus skill set you get to enjoy! 💪😂"
168 Funny friendship quotes
Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.
Commentary:
"Planning a road trip? Don't forget to bring a positive friend and a negative friend along for the ride! 🚗💨 That way, you'll always have a jump start when things go downhill… or uphill, depending on your friends' moods! ⚡😄 #GoodVibes #RoadTripLife"
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic love-hate relationship with oneself! Who knew being your own worst enemy could also make you your best friend? 🤔🤷♂️ Remember, always keep your friends close and your enemies… well, apparently even closer because they might just be you! 😄👯♂️"
A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.
Commentary:
"Being a bridesmaid is an honor, but carrying the end of a CVS receipt? Now that's a whole new level of commitment! 💐🧾 #bridesmaidgoals #receiptduty"
I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.
Commentary:
"Well, who doesn't want friends with benefits? Just make sure those benefits also come with a view! 🌊🚤🏝️ #FriendshipGoals #LivingTheGoodLife"
If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.
Commentary:
"If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean it. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood – because who needs luck when you've got wealthy neighbors to share the riches with? 💸🤑🏘️ #SpreadTheWealth"
Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.
Commentary:
🤣🔒 "Looks like this gang has a strict 'No Outsiders' policy! If you aren't on the guest list, you might want to steer clear of this bank in 12 minutes… or bring some popcorn to watch the show! 💰💸 #GangGoals"
I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Facebook friend request from a high school acquaintance-turned-senior citizen' dilemma. 😂 It's like a blast from the past meets a glimpse into the future! 👴🚀 #TimeFliesWhenYou'reAcceptingFriendRequests"
Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.
Commentary:
"Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"
Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.
Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of human relationships. 🤣 Just when you think you've met that special someone, they make you consider extreme measures. 💔🔪 Remember, it's all part of life's rollercoaster ride… or crime thriller novel! 😜 #RelationshipDrama"