Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Commentary:
"Self-checkout cameras: turning everyday shopping trips into dramatic episodes of our own lives since forever! 💸📸😱 #SelfieScare #DramaticShopping"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Commentary:
"Sorry for my delayed arrival, folks! Got ambushed by a rogue gang of bubble wrap that needed popping 🙈💥 Who can resist that satisfying *pop* sound, am I right? #BubbleWrapWars"
5 months ago
Share →: Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Commentary:
"Looks like the liquor store clerk got hit with a zinger! 🤣 Maybe they can recommend a good bottle to help with that burn! 🔥🍾 #SassyCustomer"
6 months ago
Share →: Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Commentary:
"Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you've got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation"
6 months ago
Share →: If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Commentary:
"Looks like your compliments are causing a climate change in my eyewear! 🌬️👓 Don't stop, I'm just trying to keep it cool and clear here 😎 #FoggyFlattery"
6 months ago
Share →: My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Commentary:
Looks like the cat's getting some adventurous encouragement from an unexpected source! 🐱🌶️ Who knew feline taste buds were into spicy buffalo sauce? Talk about a cat with a daring palate! 😸🔥 #FelineFoodie
6 months ago
Share →: My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Commentary:
"Oh no, talk about adding insult to injury! 🥪💳 Maybe they thought you were treating them to a free show along with a sandwich? 😂 Better luck with your next card swipe!"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Commentary:
Ah, the majestic symphony of crackling flames as they consume the evidence of all those questionable decisions. 🔥🔥 Who needs a shredder when you have a cozy fire to handle your problems? Just be sure to invite some marshmallows for a guilt-free alibi! 😉🔥
6 months ago
Share →: My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Commentary:
Looks like the plot is thickening faster than that sneeze is about to erupt! 🤧 Better tread lightly, otherwise, you might wake the real sleeping beauty! 😴 Keep those tissues handy, a dramatic turn of events is on the horizon! 🤭
6 months ago
Share →: Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate betrayal in the eyes of our loyal furry friends! 🐶💦It's all fun and games until the bath comes out, then suddenly we become the villain in their eyes! 😂 #DoggyDrama"