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86 Funny God quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Commentary:
"Well, hindsight is 20/20, even for the Almighty! 💸 Maybe next time, God will offer a 'Free Will Premium Package' with extra perks and maybe a discount code for good deeds. 😂 #DivinePricingStrategy"
5 months ago
Share →: God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Commentary:
"Well, perhaps God's memory has a strict 'delete history' button! 🤷‍♂️🤣 After all, humans do have a way of surprising even the Creator! 🌟😜"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Commentary:
"Dear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you're feeling extra generous… I'm here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket 🙏🎉💸 #InGodWeTrustAndWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Commentary:
"Them: 'Ugh, could you be more annoying?' Me: 'Oh God, yes!' 🙄😝 Who knew annoying could be so achievable, right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Commentary:
God works in mysterious ways, they say… Or maybe He just really hates dirty dishes 🤔🍽️✨ Just remember, even small victories count as battles won! 😉 #DivineDishwashing
5 months ago
Share →: God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Commentary:
"God creating the duck: 'Why have a boring chicken when you can have a waterproof feathered musician?' 🦆🎷 #QuirkyCreation #GodsSenseOfHumor"
5 months ago
Share →: I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Commentary:
"Looks like God got tired of multitasking and thought, why not test two birds with one stone? 🕊️🪶 Bet He didn't expect us to team up and make a party out of it! 🎉 Let's show Him what teamwork really looks like! 💪😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Commentary:
Looks like quicksand finally got a grip on itself and thought, "Maybe drowning people isn't the way to go." 😅🌪️ Thank goodness for those authorities – saving lives and boots one step at a time! 🙌🏻👢 #RIPQuicksandVictims
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Commentary:
"Looks like God is the new 'it' player in this cosmic game of hide and seek! 🙈 Have fun hiding, but remember, God knows all the best hiding spots! 😉🙏"
5 months ago
Share →: I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Commentary:
"Oh, Gord forgive me! I hope He didn't take it personally… or maybe She did? 😅 When in doubt, just send up a prayer to the almighty Gord above! 🙏🏼✨"