Commentary:
Sounds like your future memoir title should be "2020: The Year That Really Needed a Cigarette Break" 🚬😂📅
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.
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Achievement unlocked: Internet peacekeeper! 🕊️💻😂
Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.
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When you tweet, it’s like a game of "Who Wants to Be a Critic?" starring everyone! 🎭📲
I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”
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Rain just wants to give those plants a refreshing shower and our hair a wild new style! 🌧️💧🌻
Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.
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Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze! 🤧👶🎉
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.
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"Turning 'party pooper' into a whole new experience! 🎉🔋😅"
No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.
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Sounds about right! Guess Cupid needs a GPS these days 😆💘📍
You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.
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When you've played so long that your fridge starts narrating your life story 🎮😂 hallucination level unlocked 🚪🔊
Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.
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When the sun becomes your personal branding iron… guess I'm now the tastiest snack on the safari menu! 🍗🤣🌞
My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.
Commentary:
Arguing with Grok: the new extreme sport for when you can't find Wi-Fi in the deep woods. 🤔🦖💬