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Who's ready for yet another grand opening of the Life's Reboot store? 🎉🔄😅
Tag Archives: 14833 Funny humor quotes
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
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😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.
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When you work so hard to earn boos, applause feels cheap 😆👏 #Goals #RickAndMorty #GoatDoctrine
Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.
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When Netflix is like your overenthusiastic friend who knows everything… except where to find the movie! 🎬🤔📚
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.
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Why invite anyone else when you can surprise yourself multiple times a day? 🎉🤔🙃
I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.
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Iced coffee: the self-care elixir that keeps me hydrated and hyper-caffeinated! ☕️💧😄
Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.
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That moment when kids become the ultimate superhero sidekicks to ward off unwanted attention 😂🦸♀️👶
I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.
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Just got new walking shoes—perfect for dodging human furniture! 🚶♀️🛋️😄
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?
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Trying to figure this out… Does switching to "trisexual" require a calendar app? 📅😂
Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.
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😆 📚 "If reading were a skill, I'd gladly return it after seeing this!" 📚😆