Commentary:
Only in America would we add a sprinkle of confusion to water and call it science! 😄🇺🇸🌡️
14833 Funny humor quotes
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.
Commentary:
When I'm happy, it's either a lucky glitch in my brain or I'm ignoring my to-do list like it's a toxic ex! 😅🤦♂️📋
So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.
Commentary:
The eternal struggle: wanting to wash your troubles away but realizing you might have to leave the house wearing a bedsheet! 😅👗🧺
Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?
Commentary:
Sounds like your career is playing hard to get. Time to send it a "we need to talk" text! 😅📞💼
At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.
Commentary:
Booing at grocery prices like I'm the world's unhappiest sports fan! 🛒😂📣
Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?
Commentary:
Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with my couch? 😂🛋️🍿
What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?
Commentary:
Back then, everyone must have been like, "Is that a bear or my cousin Steve?" 😂👓🐻
I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.
Commentary:
When I open my DMs and see all the messages, I put on my best Sherlock Holmes hat and solve the mystery: case closed, wrong number 😂🔍📵
Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?
Commentary:
Trying to understand whether it's wine etiquette or an optical illusion 🍷🤔🏆
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.
Commentary:
Sounds like a "grate" idea! 🧀😄 Time to Brie yourself!