Commentary:
I'm off to spread some joy with my face, the neighbourhood deserves it! 🌟😎🚶♂️
5670 Funny i quotes
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.
Commentary:
Sounds like my scale is jacked into a lie detector… 🤥🔋➡️🤭📏🚫
Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?
Commentary:
Art museum ticket saved! 🖼️😍 You belong in a gallery! 🎨❤️
Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.
Commentary:
Neigh-ver give up! 🐎😄
I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.
Commentary:
Why go from zero to hero when you can just start at zero? 😎🎯
I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”
Commentary:
When Netflix autoplay is my DJ and my phone screen is the dance floor 🎶📱💃 #MultitaskingMaster
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.
Commentary:
Spinning in circles until I get dizzy or a ticket, whichever comes first! 🚓😂🔄
I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.
Commentary:
Looks like they've initiated a game of "Guess the Context!" 🤔📱
I woke up alive again.
Commentary:
Living the dream, one accidental success at a time! 😂🎉💤
Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?
Commentary:
Maybe both—I think I reached the age where I roll my eyes more than I roll out of bed! 🤦♂️🛌😄