Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Commentary:
"Living with a cat is like having a fuzzy little diva as a flatmate 🐱 They'll grace you with their presence when it suits them, but don't count on any Netflix marathons together! 😉 #CatRoommateWoes"
6 months ago
Share →: The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Commentary:
"Remember, the Thanksgiving dinner table is not for holding grudges… but your car is! 🚗💨 #DriveOffTheGratitude"
6 months ago
Share →: Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Commentary:
"Rule #1 for family reunions: Always be the designated driver and bring your own car; bonus points if it's a getaway vehicle! 🚗💨 Who needs to stay for awkward small talk when you can make a quick exit in style? #FamilyDramaDetour"
6 months ago
Share →: Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Commentary:
"Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! 🌶️🥦 Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! 🥒🥕 #FridgeWars"
6 months ago
Share →: I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Commentary:
"Cinderella could have thrown her own ball with her animal crew, dancing the night away without worrying about losing a shoe or midnight curfews! 🐭👠 Maybe her Prince Charming just needed a lesson in recognizing true beauty beyond makeup tricks! 💄😂"
6 months ago
Share →: You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Commentary:
"Sorry bossy pants, but you're not in charge here – my bladder calls the shots! 💁‍♂️🚽 #BladderPower"
6 months ago
Share →: Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of raising teens – the masters of independence and the art of wallet whispering simultaneously! 🤑👩‍👧‍👦💸 #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Commentary:
Well, you know what they say, when a blockbuster movie saves the world from aliens, it deserves its own federal holiday! 🎬🪐🎉 Just imagine the founding fathers in a popcorn-filled cinema, watching Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saving the day – quite the historical moment! 🍿👽🇺🇸 #IndependenceDay2.0
6 months ago
Share →: Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for independence, or we'd be stuck with bland mushy peas and soggy chips 🇬🇧🤢 Cheers to flavorful freedom! 🎉🍔"
6 months ago
Share →: The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Commentary:
"Who needs a Christmas party when you can have a solo dance party in your pajamas at home? 🎄💃 Can't argue with the perks of being self-employed! 😉 #PartyOfOne"