Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Jan 2, 2026

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just landed via Reddit:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Seen just now on Threads:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Going viral on Telegram:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Trending via Pinterest:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Going viral on Slack:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Going bananas on Twitch:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Funny instant quotes

Funny instant quotes are like little bursts of laughter 💥😂 that brighten your day in a snap! Whether you need a quick mood lift or a clever one-liner to share, these witty gems bring instant smiles 😄✨. Perfect for spicing up your chats, social posts, or just enjoying a moment of pure fun 🎉📱. Get ready to giggle and spread the joy with these hilarious quips!

New funny instant quotes 👇

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

0

2 months ago

age, am, AOL, AOL Instant Messenger, chat, i, instant, internet, messaging, messenger, nostalgia, old, technology
They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

0

2 months ago

change, huge, humor, improvement, instant, instant payoff, invent, lifestyle, lifestyle change, motivation, payoff, self, self-improvement, should, small, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

0

2 months ago

always, always available, am, available, communication, digital, digital presence, hello, here, humor, i, instant, instant response, love, media, online, online communication, people, presence, quick, quick reply, reply, replying, response, seconds, social, social media, texting
Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

0

3 months ago

awesome, humor, instant, instant karma, justice, karma, witnessing

All funny instant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

35 shares on Slack this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Live now on Facebook:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Trending via X:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Making waves on X:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴