Commentary:
"Currently negotiating peace talks with my 'crisis cookies' 🍪😂 How's the Snickers diplomacy going? 😜🍫"
1648 Funny just quotes
Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.
Commentary:
"Braving the bedside minefield to brush feels more epic than Frodo's journey to Mordor! 🛏️👉🛁⚔️😂"
I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for inner peace that doesn’t need constant updates? 😂📵🧘♂️"
Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.
Commentary:
"After reading up on confirmation bias, I've realized I'm absolutely biased about how biased I am! 🤔😂 #MindBlown #TotallyConfirmed"
There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.
Commentary:
"Running low on filters and raw-dogging life like it's a new adventure! 😜📸✨"
Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.
Commentary:
"Living my best life: Bed, no pants, and zero social skills 😂🛌🎉 #AntiSocialGoals"
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
Commentary:
"Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! 😂🦟💋"
I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?
Commentary:
"Looks like I'm on the 'something' rollercoaster and forgot to get off! 🎢😅 What's next, a loop-de-loop?"
I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
Commentary:
"When your problems realize they aren't getting any attention and decide to ghost you instead 😂🙌 #MasterOfAvoidance"
Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.
Commentary:
"Running on personality time! ⏰😅 #FashionablyLate"