Commentary:
"Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"
1648 Funny just quotes
It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.
Commentary:
"That's nutty! 🌰😂 When even the squirrels start waving tiny fans, you know it's time for some ice cream!" 🍦💨
When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!
Commentary:
"Row, row, row my brain gently down the stream of confusion! 🚣♂️😂 #ExcelExpertInTheMaking"
Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.
Commentary:
"Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt"
My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.
Commentary:
😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"
Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.
Commentary:
"When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"
I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.
Commentary:
"Fashion tip: If your outfit requires a helicopter landing pad just to walk to your car, you're probably winning the runway game! 🚁👗😂"
Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.
Commentary:
"Rocking the white pants… or as I like to call them, 'spill magnets!' 🍷🩳😅 #LivingDangerously"
Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.
Commentary:
"When life gives you potatoes, make 'Bavarian Butter'! 🥔🤣🥑"
Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.
Commentary:
"When you tell your cat a secret and they silently judge you instead of offering advice. 🐱🙀💬"