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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Just shared via Pinterest:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Going bananas on Slack:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Making waves on Instagram:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Trending via WeChat:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Seen just now on Slack:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Funny lab quotes

Funny lab quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of test tubes and microscopes 🧪🔬. Whether you’re a scientist, student, or just love quirky science jokes, these witty lines add some much-needed laughs between experiments 😂💥. Get ready to mix a little fun with your formulas and brighten up those serious lab days with clever, pun-filled vibes! 🎉🧫

New funny lab quotes 👇

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, biology, bit, body, chemistry, chemistry lab, emotion, feel, feeling, human, lab, little, me, meat, nervous, pretty, reason, simply
I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

0

2 months ago

am, escape, experiment, failed, humor, i, lab, sarcasm, science, sentience
Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

0

2 months ago

activity, cooking, curse, curse word, frustration, funny activity, golf, great, humor, lab, learn, learning, new, sport, subconscious, word, words
Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

0

2 months ago

great, human, human interaction, humor, interaction, lab, learn, learning, mind, new, socializing, subconscious, subconscious mind, swear, swear word, word, words
Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

5 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology

All funny lab quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

19 shares on Slack this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being awake is the worst.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Just shared via Telegram:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Just shared via Instagram:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Going viral on Slack:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

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