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"Unavailable is my spirit animal 🦥🔕😴"
1458 Funny life quotes
Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.
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Life's plot twists: achieving that squeaky clean just to… backslide 😅🚿💩
Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?
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When did my life get optioned for a sequel? 📚😅
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.
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Unlocking God Mode: now accepting life's glitches with a smirk and a side of popcorn 🍿😄🛠️
Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.
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When that (1) appears, I *totally* relate… it's like my computer's way of telling me it's ready to start a file-naming sequel trilogy 🎬😅📂
There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.
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Who knew the real lyrical genius was a preschool songwriter? 🎶🚌 #OneHitWonder
I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.
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Looks like my 'get it together' plan is still under construction 🚧🛠️ Stress level: expert, productivity level: potato 🥔
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.
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Ah yes, the classic "Did I lock the door or just have a profound staring contest with my keys?" moment! 🔑🤔💭
Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?
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Ah, the 20s: where commitment issues meet blind optimism in the strangest of romances! 😂🤦♂️💔
The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”
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Brace yourself for the ultimate plot twist—advice from the 60s crew! 😂🎢