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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2035 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,197

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,197

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Just landed via Twitch:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Making waves on Telegram:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Just shared via Reddit:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Breaking via WeChat:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on Slack:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2035 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,197

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,197

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Trending via Twitch:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Broadcasted on X:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Making waves on X:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Going viral on Discord:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

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