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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Just landed via Reddit:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Shared recently on Threads:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Funny longevity quotes

Funny longevity quotes bring a smile to aging while celebrating life’s endless adventures! 😂✨ They remind us that growing older doesn’t mean losing your spark—it’s all about laughing through the years and embracing every wrinkle with joy. 🎉🕰️ Ready to add some humor to your journey of many birthdays? Let’s dive into the witty wisdom that keeps spirits young and hearts light! 💖🎈

New funny longevity quotes 👇

All funny longevity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

52 shares on Discord this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Making waves on WeChat:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Spotted on Instagram:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Trending via Discord:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Trending via WeChat:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Just landed via WeChat:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

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