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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Just shared via Facebook:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Spotted on X:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Going viral on WeChat:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Funny mating quotes

Funny mating quotes bring a hilarious twist to the wild world of love and attraction 🐾❤️ Whether you’re single, coupled up, or just curious about nature’s quirky ways of flirting, these witty lines will make you smile 😄💘 Get ready for a laugh-out-loud look at how creatures big and small get their groove on—because sometimes, love is all about the funny moves and cheeky moments! 🦜🐒💕

New funny mating quotes 👇

All funny mating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Facebook this month:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

92 shares on Twitch this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

67 shares on X this month:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,478

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Trending via Messenger:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Making waves on Facebook:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Just shared via X:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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